oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
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