wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
