your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
