Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
