I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
