its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
