Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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