you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
