after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
