I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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