the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
So vagazzling was a success
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
