my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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