I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
