She went from zero to smokin in five shots
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Randomize
