Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
