i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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