My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
