'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
My ass is underappreciated
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
