i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
