making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
