Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
