I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
