very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
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