sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
