Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I came so hard my ears popped.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
