it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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