As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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