He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
