apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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