I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
