you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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