Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
