If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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