I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
be right there i have to get my cape
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
