last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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