we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Randomize
