It's Friday. Sex?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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