All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
