mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
