This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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