I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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