i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
