oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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