I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
