Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
