Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Sorry about my life...
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
