it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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