You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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