Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Just invented taco cereal.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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