At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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