I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Randomize
