I don't think brook has ever known best
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
