don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
