Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
